NEW & IMPROVED! My Amazon.com Review For The 6th Season of “The Big Bang Theory”, WITH CUSTOMER COMMENTS!

Hey pals! Well, some folks are at it again on Amazon.com, treating a television show like it’s their God or something. For the life of me, I can’t get over how passionate people are over things that are produced in such an assembly-line manner as a sit-com, and I guess maybe I’ll never fully understand it. I mean, I love the show “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” but if someone gave it a shitty review on Amazon, I think I’d read it, disagree, and then move on to look for something that I’m going to buy. Isn’t that what most people do?

Anyway, this is, by and large, a repost of the previous post I made, but at the end of the article, I’ve included the comments for my review (and my responses to them). This stuff is, by and large, fun to me, but I have to admit that the thinly-veiled personal insults do creep under my skin. But hey: when a person is nothing more than a disembodied collection of words on a major website, it’s pretty easy to disregard the human’s feelings, isn’t it? Of course it is: I’m sadly as guilty of it as anyone.

And that’s where this repost of this thing ultimately takes me: I need to take a look at how I treat people, too. These people are using ad hominem attacks on me, probably so nonchalantly that they don’t even recognize they’re insulting a real person. And I do that in my day-to-day around the Internet, too.

I don’t like that I do that. When I insult a person, I want to be deliberate, sincere, and I want it to have some fucking passion! I’m not into just passing around insults like some sort of petty blogger cunt! I’m a severe, direct blogger cunt, damn it!

And that’s real, ’cause I’m Bee-BO!…shit. She’s gonna kill me for that one. Anyway, enjoy the whole thing if you haven’t, and please enjoy the comments these folks left me. I know I did! 🙂

This helps me believe in God a little bit more, because if this stupid show can go on for 6 seasons, there has to be a Hell.

This helps me believe in God a little bit more, because if this stupid show can go on for 6 seasons, there has to be a Hell.

My friends, apparently my one, singular voice of reason wasn’t enough to take down the tyrants in their Tower of Doom, which means that a full 6th season of the hit CBS program “The Big Bang Theory” has or will soon be released for public consumption.

I’ve made it extremely clear that I hate this show, and I have a lot of reasons for that. Mostly, the character types annoy the piss out of me and stir up a lot of punchy rage deep within my body. I need that kind of rage just about as much as I need to have a scimitar crudely jammed up my urethra, handle-first.

And I’m completely sure that this is far from the last word we’ll hear from these jackals over at CBS and The Big Bang Theory. That saddens me, because I know real “nerds,” “dorks,” “geeks” or whatever else it’s cool to call hobbyists, enthusiasts and just plain ol’ cool people in this day and age, and shows like this over-saturate their social marketplace with a bunch of emotional fool’s gold. Cool, enthusiastic men and women are being forced onto the sidelines everyday because some goofball comes along and quotes some of that “Bazinga!” horseshit, which people then equate to “oh wow, this guy’s, like, really smart and stuff. And then the actual cool “dorks” have to ride beta- as Sitcom Watching Shithead moves into the alpha- position on the Geek Train.

So, with another season of this terrible show being released, I felt compelled to write another review of the season’s DVD set on Amazon.com. What follows is a transcription of that review, but if you’d like to see what the saprophytes over on that site have to say about my flavor of Haterade, it’ll probably be listed and unhelpful to all in a very short while at this page. Enjoy!

Oh, and hey! If you missed the last time the Amazon.com community wanted to shame me for having an opinion, here’s my review of The Big Bang Theory’s 5th Season DVD collection. Enjoy that, too!

***

I was verbally abused with ad hominem attacks after reviewing the last full-season DVD offering of this horrendous program known as The Big Bang Theory, and whether the same fate will greet me this time around or not, it has to be said that this is the single most annoying sitcom in the history of television. Season 6 just so happens to keep the streak alive.

Each crude drawing of a character is simply a thin husk of what a well-rounded human being might ever be, and as such, it’s impossible to feel anything but disgust for the whole lot of them. Johnny Galecki might possibly get a pass solely for his previous work, but the rest of the cast simply exists as lollipop-esque embodied voices that can give the nouveau-dorks out there some sort of masturbatory flag to wave as they rally on to whatever activity will exclude them next…until they have a tantrum and picket the place in full cosplay regalia. Seriously, how these goofs could possibly mix up steampunk and 80’s haute couture is beyond me…

Look at this creep, absolutely bastardizing the sanctity of that Green Lantern t-shirt. I wish that Hal Jordan would come along and go all Coast City on his face...and then dropkick Blossom. 2 beatdowns of small, flying animals with big heads, one smooth stone.

Look at this creep, absolutely bastardizing the sanctity of that Green Lantern t-shirt. I wish that Hal Jordan would come along and go all Coast City on his face…and then dropkick Blossom. 2 beatdowns of small, flying animals with big heads, one smooth stone.

…Like the show, don’t like the show; I’m sure we could still possibly be friends. But please, as a service to the decency of future generations, buy your collection of this 6th season of The Big Bang Theory, with all of its commentaries, special features and easter eggs, and promptly burn it. You need this about as much as I need more cancer.

I implore you to be good to yourselves and abandon this faux-nerd glad-handing. Go get really involved with something. Enjoy a new hobby that enriches your life with a foundation of skills or blooming friendships. Learn something inside and out, scrape every facet down to the bone and make yourself an expert. And for the love of whatever you hold dear, don’t present these money-grubbing cash demons with yet another opportunity to distract you from being the great person you’re destined to be.

The Big Bang Theory, Season 6: .5/5 stars, simply because they persist in offering a horrible thing to otherwise decent people by tricking them. If you’re addicted, help is available.

***

COMMENTS

Showing 1-6 of 6 posts in this discussion

Initial post: Sep 12, 2013 9:38:01 AM PDT

Jane in Milwaukee says:

Talk about Big Bang-ing your head against a wall!!! Why in the world do you keep buying, watching and reviewing a show you detest??? No one is forcing you to slap your good money down for this and this sounds like it’s among the worst wastes you could make. You were jumped on in the last round so you throw that out first thing…some people never learn. You come across as a long-suffering masochist. I’m dreadfully sorry to read in your previous review that you have battled cancer and it’s great to hear you’re a survivor. But especially since you’ve had that dreadful life experience, don’t magnify your unhappiness by wallowing in hours of misery you get from this show.

Because you are dead wrong on all accounts. You don’t like it that Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, Bernadette, Amy and Penny…Penny…Penny aren’t well-rounded human beings? Who said that was their job??? I don’t want well-rounded, I want funny. Hilarious. Hysterical. I fell in love with the first episode and we’ve been going strong ever since.

Instead of railing to a bunch of people who LOVE what you HATE why don’t you go get really involved with something…enjoy a new hobby that enriches your life…and be the great person you’re destined to be.

Instead of a whiner.

Just my thoughts.

16 of 16 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you?

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Your post, in reply to an earlier post on Sep 12, 2013 11:10:59 AM PDT

XtopherJacques says:

I should put forth a disclaimer, letting everyone know that I don’t buy or watch the show, save for the few times I’ve been stuck somewhere and it was the show on whatever channel the TV had become stuck on years ago.

I am glad you like the show. I want everyone to like what they like. I’m just offering another perspective that I feel could be valuable to some.

And as for why I decided to write another review for the show? It’s fun. I like putting my opinion out there. It’s unfortunate that no one agrees with me, but that’s not a prerequisite for my opinion, so I take my lumps and just have the kind of fun I want, engaging in my hobby: writing.

Thanks for reading and voicing your opinion!

1 of 7 people think this post adds to the discussion.

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Posted on Sep 12, 2013 10:10:42 AM PDT

J says:

You’re addicted. Help is available.

1 of 2 people think this post adds to the discussion. Do you?

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Your post, in reply to an earlier post on Sep 12, 2013 11:12:08 AM PDT

XtopherJacques says:

I’ll look into it, thanks!

0 of 6 people think this post adds to the discussion.

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Posted on Sep 17, 2013 5:50:01 PM PDT

Last edited by the author 24 minutes ago

Reno SF Writer says:

Xtopher, you should read Jane’s comment over and over (and over and over and over, yes indeed) until you finally get it. Life isn’t always, always, always so serious. Lighten up. This show is full of silly people who are downright hilarious. Not for one minute do I think they exist in real life, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want them to, and I darn sure wouldn’t want them to be serious, well-rounded characters who need serious attention by the viewer (me). I teach trigonometry and precalculus. I’ve got all the serious I need in my life, and then some. Thank God for the BBT. I almost never laugh out loud (sadly), but this program does it for me. Writing your opinion (more or less over and over and over) seems like a waste of time. Why don’t you tackle a real project and write a novel? Then, the fun never ends (trust me). I’ve written ten of them and am working on number eleven. It’ll keep you away from the horrors of the BBT. You can thank me later, when you’re on chapter twenty-four and that sense of achievement gets down into your bones.

You just replied with a later post

Do you think this post adds to the discussion?

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Your post, in reply to an earlier post on Sep 17, 2013 6:26:36 PM PDT

XtopherJacques says:

“Until I finally get it?” Why does it seem that every time I post a review where I speak negatively about a show (y’know, just a random piece of art that doesn’t have feelings and won’t get upset over my negative review), the fans of said show always look to insult me? I promise you that I tackle real problems every day! I also write for a living, and while I have yet to complete a novel to my satisfaction, I have ghost-written a number of books which have been approved and complimented by my clients. I’ll say once more: I DON’T ACTUALLY WATCH THE BIG BANG THEORY ON A REGULAR BASIS! I’ve seen a few episodes; the characters annoy me. These reviews are a goof, for my fun, my amusement and essentially little more than quick writing exercises. I’m sorry that so many people on Amazon.com seem to take all of the reviews written here as Gospel, and that in itself is a little bit funny, but c’mon! You like the show, and I’m glad you do! I’m glad that people find their enjoyment wherever they do! I’m a little troubled that my little paragraphs attack the sensibilities of some of the show’s fans to the degree that they would fire off passive-aggressive, slightly insulting retorts to me, when I’m just a guy writing a review. Wouldn’t the fair thing be to review my review, instead of attacking my character, my perceived lack of a life and (often) my intelligence? Seems fair to me: I review a show. I don’t like the show. You don’t like the review. Review the review. Now, if the actors and actresses of the show would like to review me personally, I’d be fine with that, because I picked on them. But I didn’t pick on you. When I said things like “nouveau-dorks,” I’m sure I wasn’t talking about you. You seem like an old-school “nerd,” and I mean that in the best possible way, as I’m a “nerd” myself. I’m into comic books, movies, music, obscure trivia, history, etymology, literature and a whole host of other things.

I guess I just wish that you folks who insult me and think me a fool for “not getting the joke” of The Big Bang Theory would realize that you’re “not getting the joke” of my stupid little reviews. Oh well, perhaps in the next life, when we are all cats. 🙂 Thanks for the response, nonetheless!

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About xtopherjacques

I'm an unreliable narrator, which is supposed to be the fun of it. I'd imagine it's a lot more fun to be led off a cliff if it feels like a circus until it happens. Oh, I'm an average guy; I respirate and dream. Here, I'll talk a lot about both. There will likely be too much talk about bodily fluids of varying viscosities for one's liking, but I refuse to change that until it bores me. Thankfully, I also have healthy obsessions with foods (it might get weird), body washes and obscure media. I also talk a lot about my house being haunted and possessed, neither being true. All of those things should keep this all interesting enough. I sure hope so.

Posted on 09/17/2013, in Fun Stuff! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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